“If I think that things can’t get any worse from here...it’s just bearable.”
Kang Doo’s life was continuously like that.
After regaining his sanity in the midst of horrible pain, Kang Doo’s life was not something he lived but rather a continuation of time that he endured. Kang Doo awoke miraculously from a more than 3-month long coma due to the accident. He then spent a full 3 years in the hospital receiving first metal pins and then rehabilitative treatment on his crushed right leg.
During that time, his gentle and open-hearted mother, who had lived knowing nothing but her husband, suddenly sold their home and started a restaurant. But the restaurant went under in just two months due to a scam, and to add insult to injury, his mother fell ill. Mother and son became hospitalized side by side. During that time, his younger sister by two years, Jae Young, was left alone to become an adult far too soon. Kang Doo’s mother cried by his bed every night.
I’m sorry. Mom is sorry.
Kang Doo couldn’t understand why his mother, who was having a hard time and needed comforting, was constantly apologizing. He wanted to yell, ‘stop being sorry, we did nothing wrong.’ Watching his mother gradually fall apart, Kang Doo came to a decision. To get up no matter what, to be the one to look after his mother and sister. But just when Kang Doo painfully completed his rehabilitation treatment, his mother collapsed as if she had been waiting. The cancer had already spread to her spinal chord. His mother, who had smiled clearly from a round face, lay in a hospital bed, her face dark and emaciated. I’m going to save her. I’ll save mom. Kang Doo swore to himself that he wouldn’t lose her the way he suddenly lost his father right before his eyes. But Kang Doo was only 18. Kang Doo, whose leg was still not fully healed, could do nothing but gaze at his mother listlessly.
Let mom go. I want to go to dad. Let me go, Kang Doo-ya.
Kang Doo can’t forget his mother’s face as she spoke desperately, rasping. Not long after, his mother departed this world, leaving Kang Doo’s wish behind her. When Kang Doo regained his senses, only the debt that had accumulated in a blink of an eye due to his mother’s hospital and living expenses remained. At 20 years old, the peak age at which he should be chasing his dreams, Kang Doo had suddenly become a credit delinquent. Kang Doo, who had no parents to lean on, no education, and no particular skills, melted into the back alleys as if by process. In order not to cause any inconvenience to his sister, who he felt was different from himself, he took on any work that was profitable, moving from stay house to stay house.
Then he meets Moon Soo. Kang Doo has reservations about Moon Soo, who, unlike himself, fights her sadness, doing her best to lead an ordinary life. Moon Soo’s behavior, being outspoken or helping others first despite having a hard time herself, nags at him. So he becomes curious. Where does Moon Soo, who pretends to be fine but looks to be struggling, get the strength to endure like that? While growing closer to Moon Soo, Kang Doo also begins to change. For Moon Soo, he wants to become a properly cool guy at least once. But he’s afraid; that it won’t go as he’d like, that it’s already too late.
Before the accident, Kang Doo’s life was indisputably different from now. Born the only son of a good family, he grew up wanting for nothing, receiving all of his parents’ love. He was a promising soccer player. He had a clear dream and a family that supported him. So he feels wronged. Why did I end up this way? Why is my life so sh**ty? At the thought that, if only that accident hadn’t happened, he, too, might have become a cool guy like Seo Joo Won, and so may have been able to be more confident towards Moon Soo, he feels like he’ll go crazy. It’s really a goddamned world.
You can find the original Korean on JTBC’s official website here.
Translation originally published on tumblr here.
All source materials belong to the parties to which they are licensed. All translations are our own.